5.0 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com
February 29, 2012
By John Chancellor “Mentor coach” (Spring Hill, TN)
Failure to communicate effectively impacts all areas of our lives – from our personal relationships to our success in our careers/business lives. Unfortunately all of us engage in destructive communication patterns. Generally we are totally unaware of the unhealthy communication patterns we use on a daily basis.
Conversation Transformation is an extremely valuable tool for understanding and recognizing the destructive communication patterns we commonly employ along with trainings to help us change these patterns.
Before the authors begin the process of teaching the six most common communication problems, they give a short lesson on the way the brain works. This is extremely valuable. “Having insight can keep you from changing because (once you learn something new) you feel like you have already changed.” So the first chapter provides a foundation for using the information in the book to make permanent changes in the way we communicate. This is a very short but also very helpful summary of the necessary steps you must go through to change habits, to take the information which follows and use it to change the way you communicate.
Then the authors deal with the six most troubling patterns of communication we engage in. The book has a chapter devoted to each destructive pattern. The particular culprit is described in detail, there is then a theory for dealing with the problem, followed by a series of training exercises – putting the theory to work. Most of the exercises are more effective when performed with others.
The six destructive patterns are: yes, buts; mind reading; negative (or positive) forecasting; leading questions; complaints and blaming. If you stop and think for a minute you can probably recall some recent conversations which included most if not all of these destructive patterns.
The final chapter gives an All-Purpose tool (SAVI) to improve any conversation. Again, there is a through explanation of the theory and some excellent examples of how to use the tool.
In addition to the book there are a number of online resources which compliment the book. There is a pretest – the authors suggest you take before reading the book. I took the test and scored a 38.9% on the pretest. Then there is a test to be taken after reading the book. After simply reading the book, I scored a 72.2% on the post-test. I feel very confident that if I actually completed the training exercises contained in the book, I would increase my score to well over 90%.
The book is well written and easy to read. But it contains a lot of information to absorb. While my test scores clearly demonstrate that simply reading the book makes a real improvement in our awareness of destructive communication patterns, to master these concepts requires that you do the training exercises.
Effective communication is so important to everything we do. It impacts our personal and our business relationships. If you are not an avid student of communication, you will be amazed at how often we fall into these destructive communication patterns. This book will definitely improve your communication skills and therefore your life and business.
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